Things (not people) I Continue to Grapple With

Three years into jiu jitsu and these are the things the keep me up at night...

- To compete or not to compete - I absolutely hate it. One of the reasons why I enrolled in Krav Maga originally was because the whole idea of competition was off the table. But the same cannot be said of jiu jitsu. There are plenty of people who thrive off competition and train specifically to compete. That person is not me. But there is a fact I cannot deny: competition makes me a stronger jiujiteiro. The discipline and training I undertake in preparation for competition simply would not happen unless I put down the money and threw my hat in the ring. And my losses revealed crystal clear the holes in my game and spawned my punch list of techniques and concepts I needed to focus and hone. Were it not for competition, I would still likely struggle to utilize my hips for escapes, pressure and submissions. Were it not for competition, I would still likely be frustrated by my weight instead of dropping a considerable amount through smart dieting and increased cardio (not to mention running the first mile of my life). My medal has yet to be earned, but I have grown considerable through competition. So why am I hesitating to enroll in the next one? Cause no matter how you slice it, the idea of losing sucks. You know what sucks more? Paying money that could go towards a seminar, a gi, another month of training in order to lose. It's a shitty attitude, I admit. But that's what I struggle with.

- Gym drama - in the beginning, like a new job, I can live above it. I can focus on my training and see only the positives. I absorb all advice and instruction like a sponge, greet every coach and teammate like family and roll with everyone without baggage or ego. But time is a bitch and as you put more time in at your gym, you grow tighter to some and form opinions, both good and bad, of others. Next thing you know, you start talking smack. And that sucks. Someone will talk shit about your boy or sister and then it's like high school cliques again. You start avoiding folks on the mat and if you socialize outside of class, you start checking who's going where so you can go elsewhere. And this is definitely a universal thing. I dropped into a gym while I was vacationing and overheard one regular explaining why he didn't invite another teammate to an outing because the guy wasn't putting in time on the mats. I don't know how you avoid it. For me, hanging out with teammates is a consequence of training so many hours together. I didn't join the gym to make friends. I joined to train jiu jitsu. On the flip side, I don't want to hang with everyone who I train with. People and people and no matter what you do, someone will get their feelings hurt. I'm loyal to my team and my coach, but at the end of the day, it's training I pay for. So get it and don't take home anymore shit than what you paid for.

- Home life vs. jits life - For a while there, jiu jitsu really seduced me. I've never had an affair and don't plan to. But I would liken my first couple years of training to something like that. I was content with my life until I started putting in regular time on the mats. And then all of a sudden, I couldn't get enough. I was feeling and looking better. I was socializing with people who weren't my family and didn't work with. And three times a week, we were all up on each other (no worries, clothes stayed on and no eye contact was made). But that level of bonding has a way of stealing focus. All I could think about was jiu jitsu. I would come home from training and watch old fights or training videos on YouTube. I would read about it and at night, I would dream about it if I wasn't texting with other teammates about it. Not all of this is unhealthy or abnormal. But it can be if you start neglecting the other priorities in your life. For me, that's my family. You can't always remind yourself of the reasons why you started training in the first place. It certainly wasn't to watch MMA at Hooters. I try and let go of shit now. It's about the art. It's not personal. Time on the mats is sacred. Like church, I owe it to myself to keep my mind pure. Stay in the moment. If I've negotiated for time away from those most important to me, make sure it's worth it. So it's a balancing act. I try to put in at least three sessions a week. If I'm training to compete, I'll look to increase my time on the mats, but keeping it real, three times a week is plenty. It's enough to retain content and keep my body conditioned and cardio in check.

- Somewhere between 50% and 80% - Like everyone else, in the beginning, I was gassing out because I had no technique so I'd push and pull at 100%. Took me months to realize that my opponents were easily keeping me at bay utilizing only 50% of their speed and power because they had technique. As time went on, I found that if I applied 80% speed and power to even my limited technique, I could do pretty well - not getting tapped and maybe tapping out a few white belts. And then about a year ago, I hit a wall. I found that I wasn't getting any better. I was just rinsing and repeating: doing the same moves with worse results. It occurred to me that the folks around me were getting better while I was staying at the same place. Why was this? Was it that they were putting in more time on the mats? Perhaps. But that was only true for one or two of them. What about the rest? And then I started taking note of the folks they rolled with. Everyone. They never turned down an invitation to roll. Over time I had figured out my favorites, my go-to people and I avoided the rest. Some because I just didn't like their style of rolling, others because I didn't like them personally for whatever reason. Terrible, right? Whatever the reason I had for avoiding them, it made me weaker. Perhaps in spirit and technique. The other thing I came to realize was that the percentage of speed and power I was applying was actually hampering my progress. Applying too much weight, power, speed allowed me to be lazy with technique and precision. So I landed fewer submissions. I couldn't escape mount or pass guard. I couldn't successfully sweep anyone. So the big game changer was to pull back and invest in technique, position and transitions. I set little benchmarks for myself and practiced certain principles such as isolating my opponent's hips, using my head pressure, increasing awareness of their limbs in relation to my body, etc. This has led to some major revelations for me and helped me overcome that blue belt blues (aka plateau). Don't get me wrong. I'm not tapping everyone out (in fact, I think I tap out fewer people now than I did a year ago) and I still get submitted a fair amount. But I am more confident and in much more control of my game than before and it's gratifying. And a huge part of that is due to me adjusting the ratio of power/speed to technique/precision.

There's obviously other stuff that I struggle with, but these are at the forefront of my mind. It's amazing. It really is a lifestyle, this jiu jitsu thing. Reflecting on the art informs things in my life and sometimes, vice versa. What a gift it is to train. Oss.