Three Years Later...

It was November 2013 when I grew a set and squeezed myself into a rash guard and tried out jiu jitsu for the first time. Three years, countless rolls, two competitions, a couple injuries (including the coveted cauliflower ear) and one belt promotion later, I thought I'd offer up some reflections and musings for the noobs out there looking to jump into the deep end (cause that's the only depth in BJJ). Enjoy.

1. Gis are both ridiculously dysfunctional and addictive - The first gi you buy will likely not fit  you. You'll fall into one of two camps. You'll either get the top of the line Hayabusa that retails for something like $200 on Amazon or you'll heed the advice of those who started way before you and got the generic one for less than $80 from Revgear or Sanabul. It really doesn't matter. You'll suck just the same in either one and they will come undone (if they covered your torso at all to begin with) before you even start drilling. Deal with it. Invest in a rashguard to wear below it if you're self-conscious. Over time, you'll figure out which brands and sizes actually fit you (I'm devoted to 93 Brand as I like the fit, design and durability -- the price is key; these guys offer the best bang for buck in my humble opinion). Since I started, I have bought seven gis in total, sold or gave away three of them and rotate through only three of them. And yet, it's not enough. I want another one. And that's fine. No matter what my wife thinks. 
2. Fight soap is where it's at - My coach recommended Defense Soap to combat the risk of skin infections that one might get from rolling around with dirty, sweaty adults night after night. After Googling staph infections and looking at pictures of what looked like bullet holes in people's bodies, I bought a couple bars and used it religiously. A cousin of mine gifted me with a variety pack from Armbar Soap Company out of Hawaii and now I'm hooked. Whatever concoction of organic, hippy shit they got in those bars gets rid of acne and everything. My wife and kids can't help using it, too.
3. Three times a week at minimum - Unless you're an aspiring Worlds/ADCC/EBI champion who's got time and money to train five to seven days a week, most of us are balancing work, school, family and significant others to make it to the mats more than once a week. And that's awesome. If you're getting there three times a week, it's clear you're making it a priority and have negotiated this time with your closest peeps who understand that this gentle art makes you a better person when you're not on the mats. It's hard. We know it. And there will be some weeks when you can only make it once or twice. Totally get it. But if you're consistently dropping in twice a month or once every two weeks, it's just not enough. At three times a week, my brain still struggles to retain the transitions from a failed armbar to omoplata (and if that fails, to a back take). At once a week or once every two weeks, you're bound to miss out some very important techniques. Not to mention, you'll miss out on some important relationship building -- with your teammates, with your coaches. Remember, the only thing that makes you better is time on the mats.
4. Good class vs. Meh class - it's almost never the coach's fault. Almost. They're only human so it's fair to say they'll have their off days when they don't want to be there or are preoccupied by the stresses of their families, jobs, the world, etc. But 99.9% of the time, if they're there, they're investing in you. So it's important that you show your respect by being fully present as well. And that means, participating in the entire class. Do the warm-ups and do them well. Listen to your coach when he/she is instructing. Ask the right questions and make sure they watch you and give the proper adjustments when you drill. When it's time to roll, make sure you are on the mats and sparring every round (unless you're truly injured and need to sit it out). I have seen folks come to class and then sit out for 20+ minutes of sparring. Peeps, WTF? Yes, you're likely working out harder than your friends in Zumba, but you're cheating yourself. This is why BJJ sings like no other. Every single class, from the first to your last, challenges you to apply your limited knowledge to real-time fights. And unlike drilling, live sparring requires total commitment, full investment in the moment. It's where everything else in your life, good and bad, falls away and you only exist in that moment-to-moment roll. If you're not in it, then you're not growing. So if you're going to pay the mat fees, if you're going to rock that $200 Gameness gi, then you owe it to yourself to get on the mats 2-3 times a week and roll every single chance you get. 
5. Your other belts don't mean shit - Ok, so they do. I love and respect all of the other martial arts out there. I studied Tay Son Kung Fu, Chun Do Kwon and Krav Maga and would love to one day study Okinawan Karate, Wing Chun and Jeet Kune Do -- but really, when all is said and done, it doesn't mean shit when I walk onto the mats at BJJ. If you've never fought from your back, if you've never been trapped underneath someone who outweighs you by 50+ pounds, then it just doesn't matter. So if you're new, avoid talking too much. Don't challenge your coach with questions like, "well, couldn't he just punch me in the nuts?" or "what if I just threw him like this?" Your coach will most likely roll his/her eyes and count the minutes until he/she never sees you again. If you're going to try out jiu jitsu, treat it like you would if you were visiting your best friend's church, mosque or synagogue. Or if that frame of reference is foreign to you, treat it like you were visiting his/her family for a holiday dinner. And if that's not something you'd understand, you don't have friends and that's just sad. But really -- listen, be hungry, be curious, but show respect. Try something before you challenge it. Usually, you'll figure out the why's and how's when you're actually in the motion of something. Trust me, the first time I was introduced to full guard, I had a whole bunch of questions. But over time, I've discovered a lot more of the reasoning behind these techniques by practicing them over and over again. 
6. Travel should not prohibit training - Even in my first year, I was eager to visit other gyms. Not because I was shopping for a new school or anything, but because I was that addicted. I couldn't imagine a week without getting at least one roll in. It started locally with dropping into a friend's gym for an open mat. Everyone was really generous with their time and didn't have any qualms about an outsider on their mats. After that positive experience, I never missed a chance to roll when I traveled. Cincinnati, New York, Annapolis, the Poconos... it doesn't matter. Think about it. Runners run when they can, whether it's at the hotel fitness room or around town. It should be the same for us. Pack a lightweight gi and make it happen. Some tips: don't surprise a gym by just showing up. Yes, people do it all the time. Especially at renowned gyms. But do your best to email or call a day or week ahead to let them know you're coming, how long you've been training and what school/lineage you come from. I always ask if they have a mat fee or rules about gi color (it's a good idea to have a white travel gi with no patches for this reason). Be open-minded. Some schools are very established and have their set rules and community. Be flattered they are allowing you join them for a day. Some are new start-ups. I've dropped in on some places that look straight out of Fight Club and others that look like friends' suburban basements. Again, respect the fact that they opened up their home to you and are willing to train an outsider. Don't say things like "oh, my coach does this better" or "hmmm, I do it differently." They don't give a fuck and they shouldn't. Unless they ask, it's best to be fully present with them and not have your head in your old gym. It's also best not to smash the people at the gym you're visiting. Most likely, they'll smash you for being an outsider. Don't let them, but also don't try to rep East Coast/West Coast. Roll and demonstrate that your technique is strong and match your speed and strength with theirs. And don't call out their coach. It's poor form. I have yet to visit a gym where they coach didn't invite me to roll with them. Always accept and do your best. The best compliment you can get at the end of a visiting session is to be encouraged to come back anytime. I'll admit there have been a couple that didn't express this to me and the reasons are listed above.
7. Be a jiu jitsu missionary - We all know this: when someone brings up jiu jitsu, all you want to do is talk about jiu jitsu. Until you see that their eyes have glazed over and they're doing that swaying thing that indicates that they stopped listening five minutes ago and are looking for an escape route. But every so often, you'll find someone who really wants to delve deeper and you can see that they're curious. And just like dating, just ask them out. Tell them that you'd love to have them at the gym, that you'd be game to host them, loan them a gi, pay their mat fee or whatever. Because remember when you started? Remember how your life changed? Remember how you always wish you had started years ago? Remember how there was no one that helped guide you into the deep end? Yeah, be that guy or girl. Invite that noob to the mats, give your coach a heads up and make sure to introduce your friend to your teammates -- like a mafioso, "he's a good guy, he's a friend of mine." Same goes for people you don't know, who wander into your gym and look the way you did when you first saw people struggle to breathe underneath a 300 pound behemoth. If you're not rolling, get up and shake their hand. Ask them how they found their way to the gym, if they already connected with your coach and offer to get them set-up with a waiver, loaner gi, etc. If you can, partner with them and as you drill, talk through any previous experience they might have had with BJJ. Talk about the gym, the coach, the hours, the culture. If they stay to roll and you're their first partner, flow roll until they push the speed/strength of the match -- which is also a good time to discuss concepts like tapping, breathing, position before submission, etc. Basically, treat noobs the way you would if you were looking to convert them to your religion. Make it a positive experience that they want to repeat. But just like a first date, play it cool. Don't come on too strong. Don't ask them to marry you right away. Let your coach do the sales pitch and trust that he/she will take it from there. Your job is to represent the best type of student the gym has to offer. Everything else is what it is.